I miss EIU sooo much already!
But I went out with a bang.
Thursday we went to BINGO.
Friday to Hatter's for one last free hotdog.
Saturday I graduated, had the fam over, and then attended a kegger at Renick's.
At Renick's I proceeded to "try and catch up" (haha, he was already drunk when I got there) which entailed a lot of free keg beer and a short keg stand.
Then Renick tried making out with me after he passed out, woke up again and washed the blue penis off his face... he was successful haha.
Then we went to see a band- Romancing the Bone- for about 5 seconds near my house.
Then we went to Mal's and I did half a beer bong at a point where I should have stopped long ago.
Then we went to Lincoln Gardens, where I proceeded to trip over my broken sandal, bite it and fractured my right thumb.
Still looking for a job. Have an unpaid internship at a progressive mag in STL that would start in June, but need an actual job. There's an opening at Rock Island and I'm sending my boss some updated clips, but my parents don't want me to leave so I've been taking my sweet time- probably not a good thing. My mom even has nightmares about me going there.
I guess I can't really report till June anyway, cuz it's hard to take notes minus your right hand when you're right handed. Luckily, I'm semi-ambidextrous.
That flushes the idea of a summer softball league down the toilet, but I guess I might not be here after awhile anyway.
Congrats on the job Thomas! And happy graduation! I should be around that week for a party and I'd like to see you before you go.
P.S. I feel like a five year old with this flamboyant bright red cast. I have the Cardinals spirit I guess.
5.12.2006
4.09.2006
4.02.2006
Alphas take 2nd in Greek Sing
My sorority took second place this year in Greek Sing with or compilation of love songs from "Moulin Rouge." We worked hard. We sang well. We definitely deserved the recognition.
Kappa Delta, did an amazing set of songs from "Wicked," which earned them first place among the sororities; Tri Sigma got third place singing Madonna songs, and Alpha Gamma Delta came in fourth with a rain theme.
In the fraternity division, Sig Ep continues to own my heart (I swear I will marry that collective fraternity someday- meet my husband, Sigma Phi Epsilon). They took first singing a bunch of James Taylor songs and never failing to amaze me. Sigma Nu took second place singing love songs from morning till night; Lambda Chi took third with some more love songs. Phi Kappa Theta took fourth place, bless their hearts, and it was the first time they ever participated in Greek Sing since they recently got their charter at Eastern. They dressed in red, white and blue and stood in the formation of the American flag and sang patriotic songs like "America, the Beautiful."
I love my Greek Sing. You guys should watch it! Cuz I'm getting a copy of the DVD just before I graduate.
Kappa Delta, did an amazing set of songs from "Wicked," which earned them first place among the sororities; Tri Sigma got third place singing Madonna songs, and Alpha Gamma Delta came in fourth with a rain theme.
In the fraternity division, Sig Ep continues to own my heart (I swear I will marry that collective fraternity someday- meet my husband, Sigma Phi Epsilon). They took first singing a bunch of James Taylor songs and never failing to amaze me. Sigma Nu took second place singing love songs from morning till night; Lambda Chi took third with some more love songs. Phi Kappa Theta took fourth place, bless their hearts, and it was the first time they ever participated in Greek Sing since they recently got their charter at Eastern. They dressed in red, white and blue and stood in the formation of the American flag and sang patriotic songs like "America, the Beautiful."
I love my Greek Sing. You guys should watch it! Cuz I'm getting a copy of the DVD just before I graduate.
3.26.2006
3.22.2006
Need $30 more bucks!
Hey does anyone know anyone who would donate to American Cancer Society???
I'm $30 away from my goal and deadline is March 31.
Here's the link!
https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=136704&lis=1&kntae136704=628C24CFFBFB43C59CA53A78110FA5DD&supId=116551607
If you love me, and you have ANY money to spare, help me. Or you could pass it on to anyone else who might be interested. Love you! Bye
I'm $30 away from my goal and deadline is March 31.
Here's the link!
https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=136704&lis=1&kntae136704=628C24CFFBFB43C59CA53A78110FA5DD&supId=116551607
If you love me, and you have ANY money to spare, help me. Or you could pass it on to anyone else who might be interested. Love you! Bye
3.08.2006
Its been a while
Sorry I have been busy with school and the girlfriend (6 months I know) IM going to b home for spring break on Sunday till Thur so give me a call and we can do something..on wend im going to amarastar with stamper we are not going till 11 (stamper has 2 work) if you want to go just let me know.
3.06.2006
The dragon does...
Who's got the juiciest b-hole in town?
Watch this and find out.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/235748
Watch this and find out.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/235748
2.20.2006
The DEN rocks ICPA
Staff members of The Daily Eastern News brought home 19 honors, including five first place awards, from the Illinois College Press Association's annual conference and awards banquet last weekend in Chicago.
The DEN also received honorable mention for the John David Reed Award for general excellence, an award named for an Eastern journalism professor emeritus.
Winning entries, judged by professional journalists, were published during the spring 2005 and fall 2006 semesters, and most were judged from the dailies category.
First place:
Editorial cartoon, Mike Abernathy
Non-sports column, Kevin Sampier
Sports column, Dan Woike
Feature page design, Matt Meinheit (also, honorable mention, Matt Meinheit)
General news photo, Stephen Haas
Second place:
Entertainment supplement, (open category) fall 2005 staff of On the Verge
Headline writing, Matt Meinheit
Feature photo, Nora Maberry
Third place:
Feature photo, Daniel Williams
Sports news story, Dan Woike
Sports page design, Hillary Settle and Dan Renick
Spot news photo, Daniel Williams
Honorable mention:
Spot news photo, Stephen Haas
Feature story, Cindy Tanney
In-depth reporting, Hillary Settle
Photo essay, Daniel Williams and Carrie Hollis
General news photo, Daniel Williams
The DEN also received honorable mention for the John David Reed Award for general excellence, an award named for an Eastern journalism professor emeritus.
Winning entries, judged by professional journalists, were published during the spring 2005 and fall 2006 semesters, and most were judged from the dailies category.
First place:
Editorial cartoon, Mike Abernathy
Non-sports column, Kevin Sampier
Sports column, Dan Woike
Feature page design, Matt Meinheit (also, honorable mention, Matt Meinheit)
General news photo, Stephen Haas
Second place:
Entertainment supplement, (open category) fall 2005 staff of On the Verge
Headline writing, Matt Meinheit
Feature photo, Nora Maberry
Third place:
Feature photo, Daniel Williams
Sports news story, Dan Woike
Sports page design, Hillary Settle and Dan Renick
Spot news photo, Daniel Williams
Honorable mention:
Spot news photo, Stephen Haas
Feature story, Cindy Tanney
In-depth reporting, Hillary Settle
Photo essay, Daniel Williams and Carrie Hollis
General news photo, Daniel Williams
2.19.2006
ICPA conference this weekend
http://www.xanga.com/OohLala1983
Check my other blog for a list of awards we won. Photo (Stephen Haas and Danny Williams) did well, as usual, and Brian and I got second for our Thanksgiving issue of On the Verge.
Be proud! Our designer also won an award for one of our issue covers, the Evolution of the Bar Crawl. I like to think we (Brian, me and Danny) had a little something to do with it as well.
Here was my weekend:
Wed- went to bed at 3:30 a.m. Woke up at 4:30 a.m., met everyone in newsroom at 5 a.m.
Drive to Chicago. Have NSYNC dance party.
Stop in Peotone for McDonald's, courtesy of JR (DEN publisher) and student pub.
Arrive in downtown Chicago, park and hike it to the Tribune Tower.
Attend a Tribune Editorial Board meeting.
Get a tour of the newsroom.
Drive to Crystal Lake. Eat deep dish pizza, play Clue, sleep.
Thurs.- Get up at 5:30 a.m. Take train into Chicago.
Check into hotel.
Get job/internship interviews with Sun News in Waukeegan, Naperville Sun and Beacon News in Aurora.
Miss first session on in-depth reporting- which I actually needed.
Eat lunch at Chipotle, and have my first Dos Equis.
Attend session with Dann Gire, movie critic from the Daily Herald and old "chum buddy" of JR. Laugh my ass off.
Try to figure out how old JR is exactly. Estimates have hit 52. (I don't know why you guys care unless you read my last post. P.s. I'm not a psycho.)
Skip keynote (oooh they're- Joe, our adviser, and JR- gonna be mad) to hang out in hotel bar.
Get booze.
Get caught by JR- yep, mad.
Booze in Jenni's room.
Go to hotel bar to meet for dinner. Help Holly finish her booze.
Hike in frigid weather to Rock Bottom, where they brew their own beers.
Experience a wheat beer-filled bong, and gourmet mac n' cheeze.
Hike back.
Get drunker.
Pass out in room. I missed Meinheit's visit (Awww alum..... sigh)!!!!
Sat.- Get up 9:30 a.m. (way nicer...)
Shower, skip sessions. (yawn)
Eat free food and get awards at banquet.
Pack in Meinheit's car - CAR- with Greg, Holly, Matt (who is 6'5" ish or more), Thill, Amy and Erin...
Take train back to Crystal Lake.
Get Erin's car.
Turn around and get Jenni in Chicago.
And here I am. Somehow still awake and alive. They all went out- I'm barely able to keep eyes open.
Check my other blog for a list of awards we won. Photo (Stephen Haas and Danny Williams) did well, as usual, and Brian and I got second for our Thanksgiving issue of On the Verge.
Be proud! Our designer also won an award for one of our issue covers, the Evolution of the Bar Crawl. I like to think we (Brian, me and Danny) had a little something to do with it as well.
Here was my weekend:
Wed- went to bed at 3:30 a.m. Woke up at 4:30 a.m., met everyone in newsroom at 5 a.m.
Drive to Chicago. Have NSYNC dance party.
Stop in Peotone for McDonald's, courtesy of JR (DEN publisher) and student pub.
Arrive in downtown Chicago, park and hike it to the Tribune Tower.
Attend a Tribune Editorial Board meeting.
Get a tour of the newsroom.
Drive to Crystal Lake. Eat deep dish pizza, play Clue, sleep.
Thurs.- Get up at 5:30 a.m. Take train into Chicago.
Check into hotel.
Get job/internship interviews with Sun News in Waukeegan, Naperville Sun and Beacon News in Aurora.
Miss first session on in-depth reporting- which I actually needed.
Eat lunch at Chipotle, and have my first Dos Equis.
Attend session with Dann Gire, movie critic from the Daily Herald and old "chum buddy" of JR. Laugh my ass off.
Try to figure out how old JR is exactly. Estimates have hit 52. (I don't know why you guys care unless you read my last post. P.s. I'm not a psycho.)
Skip keynote (oooh they're- Joe, our adviser, and JR- gonna be mad) to hang out in hotel bar.
Get booze.
Get caught by JR- yep, mad.
Booze in Jenni's room.
Go to hotel bar to meet for dinner. Help Holly finish her booze.
Hike in frigid weather to Rock Bottom, where they brew their own beers.
Experience a wheat beer-filled bong, and gourmet mac n' cheeze.
Hike back.
Get drunker.
Pass out in room. I missed Meinheit's visit (Awww alum..... sigh)!!!!
Sat.- Get up 9:30 a.m. (way nicer...)
Shower, skip sessions. (yawn)
Eat free food and get awards at banquet.
Pack in Meinheit's car - CAR- with Greg, Holly, Matt (who is 6'5" ish or more), Thill, Amy and Erin...
Take train back to Crystal Lake.
Get Erin's car.
Turn around and get Jenni in Chicago.
And here I am. Somehow still awake and alive. They all went out- I'm barely able to keep eyes open.
2.15.2006
Why hellooooo to you sir
Tomorrow I leave for the ever-exciting ICPA (Illinois College Press Association) conference in Chicago.
Technically, tomorrow, we are leaving a day early at 5 a.m. to attend a Chicago Tribune editorial board meeting around 10 a.m. Road trips with JR- always a fun deal.
In case you didn't know, and you probably didn't, JR is one of our professors. He's the publisher for the paper actually. And he's goofy. I guess you could say I have a little NONSEXUAL crush on him... (I'm not narsty, the man is old enough to be my dad pretty much, plus he has small children and is married and the idea of.... eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Old guys.) So anyway. It's a big inside joke in the newsroom.
We're coming back Saturday but the weekend is going to be fabulous and everyone including Joe and JR are going to be drunk and I'm sure I'll have tons to tell you about. Love you, miss you (sorry I didn't see you this past weekend, I was in a bad mood...)
Bye ladies and gents.
Technically, tomorrow, we are leaving a day early at 5 a.m. to attend a Chicago Tribune editorial board meeting around 10 a.m. Road trips with JR- always a fun deal.
In case you didn't know, and you probably didn't, JR is one of our professors. He's the publisher for the paper actually. And he's goofy. I guess you could say I have a little NONSEXUAL crush on him... (I'm not narsty, the man is old enough to be my dad pretty much, plus he has small children and is married and the idea of.... eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Old guys.) So anyway. It's a big inside joke in the newsroom.
We're coming back Saturday but the weekend is going to be fabulous and everyone including Joe and JR are going to be drunk and I'm sure I'll have tons to tell you about. Love you, miss you (sorry I didn't see you this past weekend, I was in a bad mood...)
Bye ladies and gents.
2.07.2006
I've been a bad girl
too busy to post, just wanted to say I haven't forgotten about you.
Love you all.
Love you all.
1.27.2006
Bonerback Mountain
The other night I read that Emily is theonly person to post on here...
-------
Well I finally got a chance to, and the damn server shut me out, said Blogger was down for maitenance or some shit.
-------
And now I only have a few minutes.
And I'm using them to tell you that Brokeback Mountain was sweet enough for me to see it once with the 'rents, and see it again, an hour away in Terre Haute. IT IS EVEN MORE FAB THE SECOND TIME.
and Jake Gyllenhaal would give me a boner if I had the necessary equiptment.
----------------
One of my professors keeps talking about the movie as well- he thinks it's funny bc he likes the attention when we laugh at him.... grown ups. He's a fricken riot-- he keeps saying he saw my roommate David "Theel" (supposed to be pronounced Thill) and one of the other guy editors Matt "Polly" (supposed to be pronounced Pole-y) at "brock-back (brokeback) mountain" wearing assless chaps, jean jackets and cowboy hats. He said they gave it two thumbs waaaaaaaay up (if we know what he means)
This may not seem as funny to you as it does to me bc this man is crazy... all hopped up on cold medication and he's using his dry humor to purposely pronounce every word in the statement wrong, just to make it more ridiculous.
That's all I have. Except search for Larry David's (creator of seinfeld, curb your enthusiasm) column on the movie that ran in the NY Times, and go see the movie!!!
-------
Well I finally got a chance to, and the damn server shut me out, said Blogger was down for maitenance or some shit.
-------
And now I only have a few minutes.
And I'm using them to tell you that Brokeback Mountain was sweet enough for me to see it once with the 'rents, and see it again, an hour away in Terre Haute. IT IS EVEN MORE FAB THE SECOND TIME.
and Jake Gyllenhaal would give me a boner if I had the necessary equiptment.
----------------
One of my professors keeps talking about the movie as well- he thinks it's funny bc he likes the attention when we laugh at him.... grown ups. He's a fricken riot-- he keeps saying he saw my roommate David "Theel" (supposed to be pronounced Thill) and one of the other guy editors Matt "Polly" (supposed to be pronounced Pole-y) at "brock-back (brokeback) mountain" wearing assless chaps, jean jackets and cowboy hats. He said they gave it two thumbs waaaaaaaay up (if we know what he means)
This may not seem as funny to you as it does to me bc this man is crazy... all hopped up on cold medication and he's using his dry humor to purposely pronounce every word in the statement wrong, just to make it more ridiculous.
That's all I have. Except search for Larry David's (creator of seinfeld, curb your enthusiasm) column on the movie that ran in the NY Times, and go see the movie!!!
1.24.2006
1.19.2006
School blows like your mom
So I'm just now realizing how much I really hate school! From homework, quizes, pop-quizes, tests, and 20 page papers, this semester really blows! As much as I love the college life, I will def not miss this part of it!
1.18.2006
2006
Hey kids! Long time no post, eh? So right now I'm in the longest class of my life! IS blows, but whatcha gonna do? Laura when is your graduation?? I'd be interested in comin out for that, and if possible some weekend to check out what EIU is all about. Let me know of your availability for this semester. Anywho, I think I figured out how to graduate in the Fall, which makes me very excited!
In other news, NYC rox my sox and I could def live there, if I could afford it that is. The majority of my time there was spent in bars and Marc's apartment. I only spent less than $200, and I was there from thurs till mon, not bad if you ask me, Marc and his roommates know how to put on a good time! I'll have to give details another time, like while I'm not sitting in class, hehe, I heart wireless internet!
Relationship news, Justin and I are doin good. I'm sick as hell right now and he has been takin care of me.. awww so swt I know. He's actually buyin a new truck right now, I checked it out last night and it's really freakin swt! Its raised high as hell (I almost need a boost to get in, hehe) and its an 04 chevy. He's pry the most sincere boyfriend I've had. Just the little things, like cuddeling while we watch a movie, the way he kisses my forehead in the morning to tell me bye. I don't know I can't explain it. Its nice to have a boyfriend that doesn't rush things tho. First bf since steve to not tell me he loves me b4 the 1 month mark! I love that, nice and slow! anyways I better get back to my class. bye
In other news, NYC rox my sox and I could def live there, if I could afford it that is. The majority of my time there was spent in bars and Marc's apartment. I only spent less than $200, and I was there from thurs till mon, not bad if you ask me, Marc and his roommates know how to put on a good time! I'll have to give details another time, like while I'm not sitting in class, hehe, I heart wireless internet!
Relationship news, Justin and I are doin good. I'm sick as hell right now and he has been takin care of me.. awww so swt I know. He's actually buyin a new truck right now, I checked it out last night and it's really freakin swt! Its raised high as hell (I almost need a boost to get in, hehe) and its an 04 chevy. He's pry the most sincere boyfriend I've had. Just the little things, like cuddeling while we watch a movie, the way he kisses my forehead in the morning to tell me bye. I don't know I can't explain it. Its nice to have a boyfriend that doesn't rush things tho. First bf since steve to not tell me he loves me b4 the 1 month mark! I love that, nice and slow! anyways I better get back to my class. bye
1.08.2006
Happy New Year's
12.21.2005
Photo-a-Post
I have brought it to my own attention with my last post that these are significantly more interesting when they include a photo. I'm implementing- with myself- that each of my posts have a photo. If the photo doesn't go with the post, it will be a random with a sweet description on it. Cuz boy, do I love photos.
That being said, this one seems to get me a lot of comments.

I don't remember this much, but it's from Black Tie Affair. Wow, DEN people can be slutty. It's all in fun anyway...
Hey did you people know you can have the blog sent to you everytime someone publishes a new post? I tried it and love it- it would probably help the traffic on this site a bit amongst the group.
TRY IT!
M'kay, bye
That being said, this one seems to get me a lot of comments.

I don't remember this much, but it's from Black Tie Affair. Wow, DEN people can be slutty. It's all in fun anyway...
Hey did you people know you can have the blog sent to you everytime someone publishes a new post? I tried it and love it- it would probably help the traffic on this site a bit amongst the group.
TRY IT!
M'kay, bye
Visited Mrs. Brave today
Josh, Nik and I visited Mrs. Brave this afternoon. It was supposed to be a surprise, but Nik didn't want to get up unless he knew she was going to be there, so he called in and she recognized his voice. She and Mr. Brave took us to lunch at Pie Town in uptown Alton.
We talked about what people are doing nowadays and what we're doing, and who's still teaching at the high school. Mr. Kline retired, and Speidel is no longer Mrs. Brave's 4th floor neighbor. Tyler Frakes is a pastry chef at the Ritz Carlton in Chicago apparently, and well, we all have our own stories. Mine wasn't talked about much- compared to how some people have changed, I'm doing pretty much what I thought I'd be. Not very exciting, but at least I'm on a track of some sort, right?
Josh is studying to be a police officer. Nik is going into hotel management. I told Mrs. Brave about Diane's year in Texas (as much as I could anyway) and massage therapy school and whatnot. She thinks I should go to SIUE for grad school, apparently they have a one year teacher cert. program, haha, she said I should take over her job.
Another note, another posty post...
We talked about what people are doing nowadays and what we're doing, and who's still teaching at the high school. Mr. Kline retired, and Speidel is no longer Mrs. Brave's 4th floor neighbor. Tyler Frakes is a pastry chef at the Ritz Carlton in Chicago apparently, and well, we all have our own stories. Mine wasn't talked about much- compared to how some people have changed, I'm doing pretty much what I thought I'd be. Not very exciting, but at least I'm on a track of some sort, right?
Josh is studying to be a police officer. Nik is going into hotel management. I told Mrs. Brave about Diane's year in Texas (as much as I could anyway) and massage therapy school and whatnot. She thinks I should go to SIUE for grad school, apparently they have a one year teacher cert. program, haha, she said I should take over her job.
Another note, another posty post...
The Boy Situation(s)
Ok, well, this shit is interesting. Senior year, as I had planned, was supposed to be the even year---- every even year yet I've had a boyfriend, and every odd I haven't (Except Woike last year, which I hardly think you can count as a real boyfriend, so let's say he doesn't matter in this situation.)
There has been:
High School-
Sophomore year, Dickhead. Honorable mention Jon Bob.
Senior year, Andy.
College-
Sophomore year, Ryan
and here we are at his informal, having a good time, no matter how bad the whole situation was in the first place

(Junior year, haha)

Senior year....
*1-At the beginning of the year I dated Matt, but it faded out because he wasn't over his ex, and my friend, Hillary. Matt is exactly what I was/ and am looking for in a guy. I've had a crush on him forever... he's sweet, he's funny, he's dorky (in a good way) he's fun, he's smart, and he's damn good looking. Actually I'll take it so far as to say the best damn looking guy I've ever been with, hehe. See for yourself.

Problem? He's depressed with life. I can't make him happy because he still wants her, and he's roughing it out in a new job in a place where he knows no one. He's gotten a new job since and started over, and things are starting to look up for him. I've been conflicted because he's my friend, yet I don't really know if want to settle for that. Thing is, it might be better to have him in my life than not at all. BUT- he still seems totally perfect when we talk, and I don't want, and can't, give it up completely. How could anyone when he sends you a text that says "Can I buy you a fish sandwich?" and you can imagine the adorable look on his face as he's typing it?? Plus a part of me keeps hoping one day might be a better time to try, and I'm hoping we'll both want to, no matter how slim the chances...
*2- Right before break I had a night of champagne with the girls, and afterward decided to invite this guy, Rich, over to my house. I believe my original intention was to make out... I thought I remembered him being like that- but maybe that's because the first time I met him, I caught him commenting on my bras- you see, he was friends with Kirby, and they were hanging in the room to dry. Anyway, I ditched him the one time we were supposed to hang out... for one of the above (Woike, glasses) and we've joked about hanging out since. I never thought we actually would, but I'm glad we did, right before break. And it was tons of fun. He's really cute, although unfortunately I do not have a pic to show it. We've been talking a bit, and I'll be interested to see what happens when we get back. He seems to care a lot about stuff that most guys I've dated thus far don't. Actually getting to know me, go figure. Also, he's not shy about telling me I'm pretty or that he actually had lots of fun. It can get cheesy, but at least he's up front about it huh?
*3- And then we have the friend who confesses his feelings for me (at the Black Tie Christmas), and it changes the relationship overall. I've tried to like this guy, but I just can't.

The "Friends Zone" thing isn't what guys think it is- something some girl made up as an excuse as to why she won't date someone she just plain doesn't like. I love Brian to death, but I don't think a relationship between us would ever work, and I feel like a bitch for saying it. I've tried to consider it, I have. But it doesn't make sense to force myself into something so hard (for me), especially being that I have definite feelings for two others. Unfortunately our friendship is "On the Verge" of change (funny play on words- "On the Verge" was the publication we edited together, and the reason we're so close now...) anyway. Whether we like it or not. I've made him feel awkward, and I'm sorry, and I've flirted too much as I always do with friends... pretty much it's my fault. I hope too much doesn't change, because this guy is my best friend at school now that April is gone...
So there you have it. I have been talking to the first two, and trying to make things ok with the third, so after vacation we'll see where each go.
Thanks for listening.
There has been:
High School-
Sophomore year, Dickhead. Honorable mention Jon Bob.
Senior year, Andy.
College-
Sophomore year, Ryan
and here we are at his informal, having a good time, no matter how bad the whole situation was in the first place

(Junior year, haha)

Senior year....
*1-At the beginning of the year I dated Matt, but it faded out because he wasn't over his ex, and my friend, Hillary. Matt is exactly what I was/ and am looking for in a guy. I've had a crush on him forever... he's sweet, he's funny, he's dorky (in a good way) he's fun, he's smart, and he's damn good looking. Actually I'll take it so far as to say the best damn looking guy I've ever been with, hehe. See for yourself.

Problem? He's depressed with life. I can't make him happy because he still wants her, and he's roughing it out in a new job in a place where he knows no one. He's gotten a new job since and started over, and things are starting to look up for him. I've been conflicted because he's my friend, yet I don't really know if want to settle for that. Thing is, it might be better to have him in my life than not at all. BUT- he still seems totally perfect when we talk, and I don't want, and can't, give it up completely. How could anyone when he sends you a text that says "Can I buy you a fish sandwich?" and you can imagine the adorable look on his face as he's typing it?? Plus a part of me keeps hoping one day might be a better time to try, and I'm hoping we'll both want to, no matter how slim the chances...
*2- Right before break I had a night of champagne with the girls, and afterward decided to invite this guy, Rich, over to my house. I believe my original intention was to make out... I thought I remembered him being like that- but maybe that's because the first time I met him, I caught him commenting on my bras- you see, he was friends with Kirby, and they were hanging in the room to dry. Anyway, I ditched him the one time we were supposed to hang out... for one of the above (Woike, glasses) and we've joked about hanging out since. I never thought we actually would, but I'm glad we did, right before break. And it was tons of fun. He's really cute, although unfortunately I do not have a pic to show it. We've been talking a bit, and I'll be interested to see what happens when we get back. He seems to care a lot about stuff that most guys I've dated thus far don't. Actually getting to know me, go figure. Also, he's not shy about telling me I'm pretty or that he actually had lots of fun. It can get cheesy, but at least he's up front about it huh?
*3- And then we have the friend who confesses his feelings for me (at the Black Tie Christmas), and it changes the relationship overall. I've tried to like this guy, but I just can't.

The "Friends Zone" thing isn't what guys think it is- something some girl made up as an excuse as to why she won't date someone she just plain doesn't like. I love Brian to death, but I don't think a relationship between us would ever work, and I feel like a bitch for saying it. I've tried to consider it, I have. But it doesn't make sense to force myself into something so hard (for me), especially being that I have definite feelings for two others. Unfortunately our friendship is "On the Verge" of change (funny play on words- "On the Verge" was the publication we edited together, and the reason we're so close now...) anyway. Whether we like it or not. I've made him feel awkward, and I'm sorry, and I've flirted too much as I always do with friends... pretty much it's my fault. I hope too much doesn't change, because this guy is my best friend at school now that April is gone...
So there you have it. I have been talking to the first two, and trying to make things ok with the third, so after vacation we'll see where each go.
Thanks for listening.
















