There has been:
High School-
Sophomore year, Dickhead. Honorable mention Jon Bob.
Senior year, Andy.
College-
Sophomore year, Ryan
and here we are at his informal, having a good time, no matter how bad the whole situation was in the first place
(Junior year, haha)
Senior year....
*1-At the beginning of the year I dated Matt, but it faded out because he wasn't over his ex, and my friend, Hillary. Matt is exactly what I was/ and am looking for in a guy. I've had a crush on him forever... he's sweet, he's funny, he's dorky (in a good way) he's fun, he's smart, and he's damn good looking. Actually I'll take it so far as to say the best damn looking guy I've ever been with, hehe. See for yourself.
Problem? He's depressed with life. I can't make him happy because he still wants her, and he's roughing it out in a new job in a place where he knows no one. He's gotten a new job since and started over, and things are starting to look up for him. I've been conflicted because he's my friend, yet I don't really know if want to settle for that. Thing is, it might be better to have him in my life than not at all. BUT- he still seems totally perfect when we talk, and I don't want, and can't, give it up completely. How could anyone when he sends you a text that says "Can I buy you a fish sandwich?" and you can imagine the adorable look on his face as he's typing it?? Plus a part of me keeps hoping one day might be a better time to try, and I'm hoping we'll both want to, no matter how slim the chances...
*2- Right before break I had a night of champagne with the girls, and afterward decided to invite this guy, Rich, over to my house. I believe my original intention was to make out... I thought I remembered him being like that- but maybe that's because the first time I met him, I caught him commenting on my bras- you see, he was friends with Kirby, and they were hanging in the room to dry. Anyway, I ditched him the one time we were supposed to hang out... for one of the above (Woike, glasses) and we've joked about hanging out since. I never thought we actually would, but I'm glad we did, right before break. And it was tons of fun. He's really cute, although unfortunately I do not have a pic to show it. We've been talking a bit, and I'll be interested to see what happens when we get back. He seems to care a lot about stuff that most guys I've dated thus far don't. Actually getting to know me, go figure. Also, he's not shy about telling me I'm pretty or that he actually had lots of fun. It can get cheesy, but at least he's up front about it huh?
*3- And then we have the friend who confesses his feelings for me (at the Black Tie Christmas), and it changes the relationship overall. I've tried to like this guy, but I just can't.
The "Friends Zone" thing isn't what guys think it is- something some girl made up as an excuse as to why she won't date someone she just plain doesn't like. I love Brian to death, but I don't think a relationship between us would ever work, and I feel like a bitch for saying it. I've tried to consider it, I have. But it doesn't make sense to force myself into something so hard (for me), especially being that I have definite feelings for two others. Unfortunately our friendship is "On the Verge" of change (funny play on words- "On the Verge" was the publication we edited together, and the reason we're so close now...) anyway. Whether we like it or not. I've made him feel awkward, and I'm sorry, and I've flirted too much as I always do with friends... pretty much it's my fault. I hope too much doesn't change, because this guy is my best friend at school now that April is gone...
So there you have it. I have been talking to the first two, and trying to make things ok with the third, so after vacation we'll see where each go.
Thanks for listening.
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